


Finally Free

by FlishFlash121



Category: Free!, Free! Eternal Summer - Fandom, Free! Iwatobi Swim Club - Fandom
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, Implied abuse, M/M, Suicide Attempt, This has a happy ending I promise, abuse mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-24 11:45:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12012039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlishFlash121/pseuds/FlishFlash121
Summary: "Everything he did reminded him of the long haired, laughing boy he had fallen in love with."Rin and Haru were happy… or so he thought.READ THE TAGS. BE SAFE.





	1. Water Under the Bridge

**Author's Note:**

> If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently. Don't pretend that you don't want me.
> 
> Song by Adele

Haru found it harder and harder to get out of bed everyday since him and Rin broke up. Everything he did reminded him of the long haired, laughing boy he had fallen in love with. He sighed softly as he got up, deciding to eat something. He heated up a pan and made some mackerel and rice in attempts to cheer himself up. As he sat at the table to eat, he was instantly reminded of how many meals him and Rin had shared here. He ended up bagging most of the food and putting it in the fridge. At least it would last him a few days.

He pulled out his phone and decided to play a game to take his mind off of him. As he loaded it up and the letters appeared on the screen, he noticed three in particular.

R-I-N.

Haru gritted his teeth and closed out of it, deleting the app and tossing his phone gently on the table. He braced his elbows on his legs and held his head in his hands, his fingers grabbing handfuls of his black hair. It seemed like no matter what he did, he would find Rin Matsuoka in every little thing.

He decided to go for a walk. He stood up and put on some jeans, then pulling a hoodie on over his gray shirt. He pushed his earphones in his ears and plugged them into his phone, turning on an album of white noise. He put on his shoes before grabbing his keys and walking out of the house, locking the door behind him.

The sun was blinding. Haru held a hand up to shield his eyes as he began to walk down the street and down the steps. He felt as though his feet were moving automatically, almost like a robot. His thoughts drifted to the day Rin had broken up with him.

"I just don't feel like we work anymore, Haru."

"I feel suffocated."

"I'm sorry. It's not you, it's me."

Haru had cried that entire night while on the phone with Makoto, giving him every little detail.

Makoto had tried his best to help him, and Haru recognized it. His efforts weren't for naught, because he had felt a lot better after talking to him, and even fell asleep afterwards. What had bothered him the most was what Rin had said before he left-

"Goodbye, Haruka."

The more he thought about it, the more he felt like he was choking. He had said it almost like they were not going to see each other again, even as friends. Haru shook his head to try and dismiss the thought.

He looked up to see that he was in town. A small sigh escaped his lips as he continued to walk aimlessly down the sidewalk. Soon, he spot a familiar head of red hair.

His eyes widened. "Rin." He whispered. He continued to walk, he could feel his feet slap against the concrete, but he felt frozen. He felt himself speed up. His head was screaming no that he would regret it, but the noise in his ears and the rest of his body was an overpowering yes.

He caught up to him in no time. He wore his black jacket and jeans, the very jacket he had given Haru to wear on their first date after declaring he was cold. His throat jammed up and he felt his eyes sting as the memories came back.

"Rin." He said, mentally slapping a hand over his own mouth. He was too emotional and irrational to speak right now, but his mouth didn't seem to care.

Rin stopped in his tracks, his eyes widening. "Haruka." He said, turning around to face his ex.

Haru felt the tears spring to his eyes when he saw his face. The face he had woken up seeing, the face he had caressed, had held while they kissed. He didn't know if he could handle it.

Rin blinked, his lips an unfaltering line. "Well? What do you want to say?"

Every other emotion in Haru's body turned to anger in a matter of seconds. He reached out and grabbed his jacket, slamming Rin against the nearest wall. "Why?!" He looked up at him, his teeth clenched and his eyes filled to the brim with tears. "Why, Rin?"

He remained stoic. "I already told you. I felt suffocated, and we didn't get along anymore. Remember all the fights we had?" He grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands off his jacket.

Haru blinked, tears falling out of his eyes. "We got through them, Rin. No matter what it was, we made up-"

"That's not the point!" He shouted, interrupting Haru mid sentence. "It doesn't matter that we made up. Our fights were terrible. I don't know if you remember them like I do, but I made you so upset, Haru," he swallowed hard, "you got so upset that you holed yourself up in the bedroom and cried." He let go of his wrists abruptly.

He clenched his jaw. "Rin, listen to me. Couples fight. It's something to expect in a relationship. If a couple doesn't fight, then something's wrong." He said.

Rin shook his head. "I guess you don't remember it how I do. You couldn't possibly know how I felt after I yelled at you and saw your face cave in."

Haru looked down, unable to say anything. He didn't understand- he had planned what he would say to Rin when he saw him again, but he never expected it to end like this.

Soon, he spoke up. "Anyways, I've moved on already."

His blue eyes widened when he heard those words. "Moved… on?" He slowly lifted his head to look at Rin.

"Yeah," he sighed. "You should too, Haru." Rin finished before turning to walk down the street. "I need to get home to him now. See you around." He began to make his way down the street, the sound of his shoes on the concrete sounding like bombs to Haru.

A fresh wave of tears surfaced as he watched him. He let them fall, all the memories he has with Rin turning into a melancholy mess. Once he had vanished from his sight, he turned and started walking home, his feet dragging and a sway to his step.

\---

Haru got home feeling completely exhausted. He drew a bath before he started undressing, the sound of the water somewhat soothing his nerves.

Once he was undressed and the tub was halfway full, he got into it and sat down, leaning his head back against the wall as he began to cry once more. He didn't expect his and Rin's first meeting after the break up to go like that. And he already has a boyfriend…

Meanwhile, Haru was moping every single day, and let his thoughts and actions be consumed by his ex.

He began to think about how relaxing the water was. He cupped his hands and dipped them into the water, bringing them up and letting it flow through his fingers. He wanted to be consumed by water. He wanted to lay in it for eternity, and sleep forever.

Soon, he felt himself begin to sink lower and lower into the tub. When his feet hit the other side, his knees bent so he continued to slide. Soon, the water was past his chin, then his lips, his nose, and eventually his entire head was submerged in water. Even when his lungs screamed for air, he refused to come back up. He was calm.

He was free.


	2. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What he saw made him question his vision."
> 
> Just know you're not alone, cause I'm gonna make this place your home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this chapter! I'm just going ahead and posting this chapter, from now on I think I'll update this about every other day.

Makoto whistled softly as he walked up the steps. It was his first day back to Iwatobi, and he was happy to see everyone. Before he went to his house to visit his family, he wanted to see Haru. After what had happened when Rin broke up with him, he needed to make sure he was okay. When he got there, he knocked on the door. "Haru?" He called, looking up to the window to the bathroom when he got no response.

A small smirk graced his lips. Of course he was in the bathroom. "Please excuse me." He said as he entered the house, making his way to the bathroom. "Haru?" He said, opening the door.

What he saw made him question his vision.

Haru's head was completely submerged in water, and his body was convulsing. "Haru!" He shouted, dropping to his knees beside the bathtub and pulling his friend out by the hair. "What are you doing?!" He demanded as he began to cough up water.

Haru leaned over the tub as he coughed and hacked. "I was going to be free." He rasped between coughs.

Makoto's eyes filled with tears. "Why..? Haru…" he hugged him tight and squeezed his eyes shut.

The dark haired boy was taken aback by the sudden embrace. He soon realized what he had just tried to do. He held onto  
Makoto, his whole body shaking as he cried with him. "I'm so tired, Makoto…" he said after they had both calmed down a bit.

He pulled back slightly to look at him. "Tell me why. Why did you just try to drown yourself?" He said, his usually chipper, light tone now dark and sad.

Haru looked down, unable to look his best friend in the eye. "I don't know." He said softly, telling part of a lie. Every single cell in his body was telling him to explain what happened to Makoto, but his brain wouldn't cooperate.

It didn't matter anyways, because the brunet detected it. "Get dressed, then we can talk about it." He stood up and pulled the plug on the water before leaving the bathroom.

Haru didn't need words to understand Makoto's disappoint and anger. He stood up and dried off, pulling some sweat pants off the floor and putting them on after putting on his swim suit. Even though it seemed ridiculous, he took comfort in the garment.

He walked out shirtless, his hair still soaked. He shivered slightly as he closed the door. Makoto saw the tremor, so he took off his hoodie and handed it to Haru with a solemn face.

Haru stared at the shirt before putting it on. "I thought you weren't going to be home until tomorrow." He said, his voice unusually slow and thick like molasses.

Makoto nodded. "I wanted to surprise you and my family. I… this was the thing I least expected." He ran a hand down his face. "I didn't even expect it at all.

Haru felt tears sting his eyes. "I'm sorry." He shuffled closer to him and wrapped his arms around his midsection, resting his head on his chest and closing his eyes.

"I need to know what happened." Makoto hugged him tight.

Haru nodded. He never took the time to realize how comfortable he felt in his best friends arms. It seemed like he fit there perfectly. He guessed he noticed it then because he was searching for comfort. "Let's go sit." He said.

Makoto nodded and pulled away, keeping an arm around him as they walked to the living room to sit on the couch. "First off… are you okay? Physically, I mean. Let me go get you something to drink, your throat must be scratchy." Makoto said, getting up and walking into the kitchen.

Haru instantly felt vulnerable. He curled up and hugged his knees to his chest, the time before Makoto came back stretching.

In what seemed like forever, he came back with a cup of ice water. "Do you want me to hold you?" He opened his arms and moved to where his legs were on the couch.

Haru nodded after he had downed had the glass. He put it down on the table and moved closer to him, settling between his legs and laying on his chest. He immediately felt better when Makoto's arms wrapped around him. "I… talked to Rin today." He said after a few moments.

Makoto's eyes widened slightly. "Really..? What happened to make you… do that?" He asked, his hold tightening slightly.

Haru swallowed hard and closed his eyes, nestling deeper into his chest. "I never realized how bad our fights were. He told me that I hid in the bedroom and cried." He said, fighting a fresh wave of tears.

He nodded. "You texted me every time you two fought. You want to know how many you told me about?" He asked, looking down at Haru.

He bit his lip in thought, soon giving him a slow nod. Makoto pulled out his phone, scrolling up and down his messages with Haru.

Once he was finished, he put the device back in his pocket. "You told me about fifteen different fights." He said, looking down at Haru with a concerned expression.

His blue eyes widened. "Fifteen..?" He swallowed and moved his arms to wrap around Makoto. He pushed his face into the softness of his stomach as tears leaked from his eyes.

"Haru, hey… calm down a little bit." He tightened his hold and ran a hand down his back. "It's okay. I'm here." He sat up, rocking back and forth as Haru moved his head up to his chest.

Haru nodded and pulled away soon enough, his eyes puffy and red. "I didn't know we fought that much. I just tried to remember that it was normal, and that we were working through them…" he ran the sleeve across his eyes.

"I… have a question." Makoto said, his eyes slowly drifting away from Haru.

"What is it?" He asked, resting a hand on Makoto's chest.

He swallowed softly and looked back at him. "Was Rin ever… rough with you? Like, did he intentionally try to hurt you?" He asked.

Haru shook his head. "He's not physically abusive." He said.

Makoto nodded. "Okay, I was just asking. But, what about emotionally? Did he ever try to guilt trip you? Even over the smallest thing?"

He thought for a second. "Yeah. And… you know how unstable his anger can get." He looked up into his green eyes.

The taller boy nodded. "That might have been what caused most of your issues." He said. "But then again, I don't know what went on between just you two, so I don't have any room to say anything."

Haru shook his head slowly. "I… agree with you," he said after thinking for a bit,  
"he… yelled a lot. He would get home and be really broody, and when I ask him if he was okay, he would snap at me." He said, swallowing hard as bad memories surfaced.

Makoto nodded. "Alright. You don't have to keep talking about it, I can tell you're getting upset." He replied.

Haru closed his eyes. "Thank you."

The brunet traced circles on his back and held him close. Neither of them had a clue how long they were like that, but it was dark by the time they got up.

"Are you going to see your family?" Haru asked, pulling a container of rice and mackerel out of the fridge.

Makoto shrugged his shoulders. "If you want me to stay with you, then I'll stay." He crossed his arms and leaned on the counter beside him.

He nodded. "Okay." He desperately wanted him to stay, but it was important for Makoto to go and see his family.

The taller of them draped an arm around him. "I'll sleep on the couch."

Haru turned to him. "No," he said, then hastily adding, "I want you with me. Please." He grabbed his hand and gripped it hard with both of his.

Makoto felt a small smile on his lips. "Okay," He pulled Haru into a tight hug. "I'll stay with you."

The raven haired boy wrapped his arms around him. "Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song by Philip Philips


	3. Let It Go, Let It Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No matter how many times Sousuke tried to distract him, his brain would always come back to Haru."
> 
> C'mon, let it go. Just let it be. Why don't you be you, and I be me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully people interested in this can read this chapter before the matinence today. Enjoy!

Rin's mind was running ramped as he walked home. Was Haru really that messed up about their break up? He shook his head and opened the door to his house. "I'm back." He called into the house.

"Hey Rin," Sousuke was on the couch, his head turned to the door. "Was work good?" He stood up and joined him in their bedroom.

"Work was alright." He said, pulling off his shirt and replacing it with a black tank.

He nodded slowly. "Are you okay?" He stopped behind him and wrapped his arms around him.

Rin sighed softly and held his hands. "I saw Haru today. He stopped me while I was on my way home."

Sousuke stiffened slightly. "Really..? What did he say?"

He lifted his head up and rested it on his shoulder. "He… asked me why I broke up with him." He sighed. "I never new how messed up he was about it."

He nodded. "I see," he pressed his cheek to Rin's temple. "How do you feel?" He asked.

Rin felt his hands curl into fists. "Angry. Guilty." He took a deep breath to keep his emotions under wraps.

Sousuke stood straight up and turned him around to face him. "Don't feel guilty. If he can't move on, that's his problem. Don't worry about it." He put his hands on his shoulders and looked into his eyes.

Rin looked down and grabbed his hand, pressing it to his cheek and relishing in the warmth. "I'm trying, I really am. It's hard." He looked back up at him with half-lidded eyes.

He leaned down and placed a small kiss on his lips. "Everything will be okay, Rin. I love you." He smiled softly.

Rin let out a small breath and kissed him again. He didn't know what it was about it, but he felt like Sousuke's lips just… fit with his. It was addicting. "I love you too."

\---

No matter how many times Sousuke tried to distract him, his brain would always come back to Haru. The expression he had made when he told him he moved on was burned into the back of his eyelids. He knew he wouldn't ever forget it.

"Rin?" Sousuke tapped on his shoulder. "What's going on? Everything okay?" He reached down and took his hand.

He sighed and gripped his hand. "I can't stop thinking about him." He looked to Sousuke with sad eyes.

He slowly nodded. "Is there anything in particular that's bothering you about you seeing him today?" He asked.

Rin swallowed hard. "When I told him I've moved on, his expression just… fell." He shifted to where his leg was on the couch they were sitting on. "He seemed like he was disappointed." He continued.

"Well, he can't expect you to not move on." He replied.

"Right?" Rin's eyes widened slightly. "I don't know why he was so messed up today."

"It might be that he needs more time. You two were together for a long time. Two years, right?" Sousuke raised an eyebrow.

Rin nodded. "Yeah. It was bad, though. I was always mad, and I never wanted to actually talk to him about my problems. But, now that I'm with you, I'm a lot less angry. And I feel like you understand me more." His grip on Sousuke's hand had tightened by a substantial amount.

Sousuke pulled him to his chest and held him tight. "It's okay, Rin." He pressed a long kiss to the top of his head.

Rin let go his hand and hugged him tight. "I feel horrible. I didn't exactly say the right things when I broke up with him." He said, pressing his face into his shoulder.

"What did you say?" He asked, stroking his long, red hair.

He let out a sigh. "I said I felt like we didn't work, and that I felt suffocated. It wasn't him, it was me. I couldn't be in a relationship with him anymore. I felt myself slipping away…" he squeezed his eyes shut. "I was so mad all the time."

Sousuke nodded. "Was it maybe how wrecked your mental state was? I remember how you were after the break up. It was kind of like… the calm before a storm. You were so stoic and emotionless, it was scary." He said.

Rin looked up. "It might have been. Since I saw him today, I've been comparing my relationship with him and my current relationship with you. I… think I'm much happier with you. You know when I'm feeling bad, and what to do. Haru just… barely said anything.

"We would say hello, of course, but then he'd go back to what he was doing. Eventually he'd ask me if I was okay, but by then, I've overthought a lot of things, and I was really angry. I'd end up snapping at him when he said anything to me, and then he would get really upset. I hated it when I made him cry."

Sousuke had begun to rock back and forth. "Did you two ever talk to each other after that? Try to work it out?" He asked.

"Yeah. Every single time. We made it worse, though. Kind of like breaking a computer, and taking it apart to find the problem, but when you put it back together, it was worse than how it started out." He said, pulling away and crossing his legs on the couch. "Also, I want to mention that I have no interest in being with him again. I love you, Sousuke. And only you." He grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together.

Sousuke nodded and smiled softly. "I know. Anything else you want to talk about? I'll listen to anything you have to say." He said.

Rin shook his head. "No. Thank you, Sousuke." He returned the smile.

He nodded. "Of course, Rin. Now, let's get to bed. We both have work, and it's pretty late." He stood up and tugged on his arm softly.

Rin laughed. "Yeah. Let's go." He leaned into him as they walked to the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song by James Bay


	4. Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He was beginning to feel frustrated. It isn't the best emotion for him; frustration didn't lead to anything good"
> 
> I can do it. I can do it. But I'm only human, and I bleed when I fall down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's four!

"Haru?" Makoto smiled softly at him. "Need to talk about anything?" He asked.

Haru shook his head slowly as he hugged his legs to his chest. "Maybe." He muttered.

Makoto nodded. He needed to be patient with Haru, since his mental and physical state was most likely still fragile. "Is there anything I can get for you?" He laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

He seemed to lean into the touch. "I just need you." He scooted closer to him and laid on his arm.

Makoto draped an arm across his shoulders. "Okay."

Haru nuzzled his face into his chest. "It's still bothering me." He said.

He raised an eyebrow and looked to him. "Your meeting with Rin?" He asked.

Haru nodded against his chest. He was beginning to feel frustrated. It isn't the best emotion for him; frustration didn't lead to anything good. He would even go as far to say that frustration was what made him attempt suicide.

Makoto let out a small sigh. "You need to talk to him, don't you?" He said, already knowing the answer.

Haru looked up at him, his blue eyes sad. "Yeah."

"Alright. I'll call him for you, okay?" He said, beginning to move away.

He nodded and slowly sat up. Makoto stood up, squeezing his shoulder softly before leaving. When he was a sizable distance from Haru, he got out his phone and called Rin.

\---

Rin sighed as he rolled over for the third time. No matter what he did, sleep wouldn't come. He was laying on his back when his phone began to ring. With an arched eyebrow, he picked it up to see it was Makoto. He screwed up his mouth in confusion as he answered it. "Hey, Mako. What's going on? Aren't you on a flight?"

Makoto's voice sounded hushed on the other end. "No, I'm not. I'm actually with Haru."

No surprise there, he thought with a soft sigh. "You didn't think to tell me you were here?" He sat up with a grunt.

"Well, I didn't exactly come home to a happy scene." Makoto's voice was unusually serious compared to his usual tone.

"What do you mean?" Rin asked as Sousuke woke up.

He heard Makoto take a deep breath. "Haru is really messed up. He says he needs to talk to you." 

Rin scoffed. He could tell that wasn't the whole story. "I don't care. We talked today, and I don't have anything else to say to him. He needs to move on." He replied, ignoring his suspicions and flashing Sousuke a sideways glance as he sat up.

"Rin, I'm being completely serious. He needs to talk to you." Makoto's voice hardened.

"Makoto, I said no." He said, firming his voice.

Makoto sighed heavily on the other end. "Well, when I got to his house, I found him trying to drown himself in the bathtub." His voice now sounded thick. Was he about to cry..? "Get over here Rin. For his sake. I know you still care about him, romantically or not. I'm also curious as to what you said to make him… do something like that. See you." He hung up.

Rin's eyes were wide, a hand covering his mouth as he slowly brought his phone away from his ear. Sousuke sat fully up and ran a hand down his face.. "Rin..? What's going on?" He asked, his voice rough.

"Haru… tried to drown himself. After I talked to him." He said slowly, coming to terms with what he just heard.

Sousuke's eyes widened. "What really happened?" He put a hand on his shoulder.

Rin sighed and put his phone down, grabbing a handful of his hair as a few tears slipped out of his eyes. "I messed up, Sousuke. I messed up bad." He said as his bottom lip trembled softly.

He pulled Rin to his chest. "Go over there. I'll go with you, I'll just wait outside. Okay? You and Haruka need to talk." He said.

Rin nodded slowly. "Okay."

\---

After the call, Makoto had cried. He was so busy taking care of Haru that he didn't even realize the gravity of what he had tried to do. It hit him when he actually voiced it. Haru tried to drown himself. Haru tried to erase himself from the world. His best friend could have been gone… He shook his head softly, dismissing the darkness that tinged his thoughts. Makoto wiped his eyes before going back to Haru.

He was laying down on the couch, his lips moving almost like he was talking to someone. Makoto sat beside him. "He'll be here soon." He said, turning his head to him.

Haru nodded slowly. "Okay."

Makoto put a hand on his shoulder and lightly traced his fingers up to his hair. Haru felt a tingling sensation ripple where Makoto touched him. It felt amazing to feel his fingers run along his skin… like hot water against cold skin. He closed his eyes and reveled in the feeling. "That feels nice." He rasped.

He pulled back slightly, the fire fading for a second. "What?" He asked.

"I like when your fingers run across me. It makes me feel better." He said, laying his head on his legs.

Makoto nodded and ran his fingers down back to his shoulder. Haru let out a low, sigh.

Soon, three sharp knocks sounded at the door. Haru gasped softly, sitting up suddenly as his eyes widened.

"I'll go get it." Makoto said, getting up and walking to the door. When he opened it, Rin was standing there.

"I'm here." He said, pushing past Makoto and stopping when he saw Haru. "Well, I'm here." He said, crossing his arms. 

Haru blinked, unable to find words. He scrambled up as his hands curled into fists.

Makoto filled in the silence. "Yeah, you're here." He smiled softly in an attempt to relieve some of the tension.

Haru blinked as white hot anger filled his body. His eyes settled into a glare as he began to walk toward Rin. Makoto wrung his hands and stood to the side, ready to intervene.

Rin held his ground, even as Haru got so close that their chests were almost touching. "Tell me why." He said.

Rin's eyes widened. "Why. You want to know why? I'll tell you why." He also felt anger boil. "My emotional health can't handle a romantic relationship with you, Haruka. I was angry every single day I was with you. I would get angry, then my emotions would get out of hand. When it got out of hand, I lashed out at you. I can't count how many times I've made you cry. I didn't want to put you through that, and I was tired of going through that." He said, his voice raising slightly.

"Rin, be clam." Makoto said.

His head snapped to him. "And why don't you stay out of it?!" He snapped, clenching his fists.

Makoto took a breath to calm himself. "I'm not trying to intrude, just remember that you have to stay calm to keep a level head."

"Shut up!" He yelled, gritting his teeth.

Makoto saw Haru flinch and begin to back away. "Rin, stop it." Makoto said in a warning tone.

It took everything Rin had to not punch a wall. "Stop what? I don't understand why I came over here!" He shouted.

Haru covered his ears and doubled over. Makoto hurried to him and wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug. Rin's eyes widened, realizing what he had done.

He had recreated what happened every day of his and Haru's relationship.

As he smaller boy began to shiver, Rin bit his bottom lip. "I'm… I'm sorry."

Haru looked up, tear tracks stained on his face. He swallowed hard and stood up straight, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of Makoto's hoodie. His blue eyes seemed to pose the question- "Why?"

Rin gave a curt nod and looked down as Makoto moved back to his original position. "This is exactly why I broke up with you. I loved you- and still love you- too much to see you in pain. And that's why, Haru." He crossed his arms, his lips in a tight line.

Harus chin quivered as his vision was blurred once more by tears. "I… understand." He said, standing up pushing himself into Makoto's arms. "I understand, Rin." He repeated.

Rin nodded. "Good. Then… I'll see you around, I guess." He began to make his way out the door.

"Wait, Rin…" Makoto called, his arms now around Haru.

Rin turned on his heel. "Yeah?"

"Who are you with, now? Do we know him?" He asked.

He shook his head softly. "I don't think so. His name is Yamazaki Sousuke. He's… my rock. He helps me a lot. And I love him." He said, a smile forming on his lips.

Makoto and Haru both nodded. "I hope you're always happy, Rin." Haru said, letting go of Makoto and making his way to Rin, wrapping his arms around him in a caring hug.

Good memories surfaced for both as Rin hugged him back, his arms tight around him. "I hope you're happy, too." He said, the smile growing.

Haru looked up at him, smiling with him. "Go home to him. I'll see you later." He dropped his arms to his side, Rin doing the same.

"Bye." Rin waved before turning around and walking back home with Sousuke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song by Christina Perri


	5. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "By the expression on his face, he seemed to be thinking things over."
> 
> I just want you to know, I've found a reason for me to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new. And the reason is you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is enjoying this!

Rin was unusually quiet on the way home. Not wanting to derail his train of thought, Sousuke stayed quiet. By the expression on his face, he seemed to be thinking things over.

They returned to their house relatively quick. Sousuke decided that the silence was uncomfortable. "Rin? How do you feel?" He asked as they both took off their shoes.

He looked to him, his eyes clear. "I feel… good. I feel like everything's been fixed. I can relax." He smiled.

Sousuke felt the tension leave his body, and draped an arm around his shoulder. "That's good. You seem energetic, too."

Rin nodded, leaning into him. "I am. I feel like I understand everything." He looked up and into his eyes.

Sousuke leaned down and kissed him softly. "I love it when you're happy." He rested his hand on his hip.

He placed his hand on his. "I love feeling like this." Rin wrapped his other arm around Sousukes neck.

"We should probably get some sleep…" Sousuke trailed off, half lidding his eyes.

Rin moved both arms around him and kissed him. "Or, we could use up this energy." He said with a wink when he pulled away.

He huffed out a laugh as he hoisted him up. "Sounds like a plan." He said as Rin wrapped his legs around his midsection.

-

Rin sighed softly in relief as he laid his head on Sousuke's bare chest. If they weren't tired before, they definitely were now. "Today turned out to be a good day." He said in a hushed tone as Sousuke wrapped an arm around his midsection.

He gently grabbed Rin's chin with his thumb and first two fingers and lifted his head up. "Yeah." He said before kissing him.

Rin hummed contentedly as the kiss broke. He moved one arm under Sousuke's head and the other around his body. "Thank you." He said, his eyes drifting closed.

"For what?" Sousuke asked, his eyebrows pushed in ever so slightly.

He forced his eyes open. "For being here for me. For not leaving when things got rough. I know I… was hard to manage, when we first got together." He said.

Sousuke laced their fingers together. "I'm happy we ended up together. It might be hard to believe, but… I've always had a crush on you." He said with a small laugh.

"Really?" He yawned, his eyes threatening to close with every second that passed.

"Yeah," he tightened his hold on Rin. "Every single time I see you, you look… amazing. Combine that with your optimism, your hard working nature… you're prefect for me." He said, running his thumb along his.

Rin purred softly and nodded. "I love you." His voice was slurred with exhaustion as he allowed his eyes to finally shut, falling asleep as soon as he did.

Sousuke turned his head to him. He smiled and placed a kiss on his head, realizing how strong their love was. "Love you too." He said, closing his eyes and reveling in the thought of their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song by The Hoobastank


	6. I'm Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ""I know what it means." He said, looking up and into his green eyes."
> 
> I won't hesitate, no more, no more. It cannot wait. I'm yours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized I mis counted how many chapters I wrote for this, I'm sorry!

Haru's mind was running ramped once Rin had left. Makoto walked to him, crossing his arms. "So? Did it work?" He asked, his tone light.

The shorter boy turned to him, a big smile on his face. "Yeah. I feel much better." His expression was pure happiness.

Makoto nodded, smiling with him. "That's great, Haru."

He walked to the couch, and instead of the slumped, groggy pace, there seemed to be a spring in his step. Makoto walked into the kitchen and pulled two mugs down from the cabinet. He warmed up some milk and poured two packets of hot chocolate in each cup, to make it thick. When most of the powder was mixed into the milk, he carried both cups out.

He didn't see Haru on the couch. He screwed up his mouth in confusion. He peaked into he bedroom, letting out a sigh when he found he wasn't there. "Haru?" He called, walking to the door that led to the outside deck.

He was out there, sitting crossed legged on a blue bean bag. Makoto let out a quiet breath in relief and sat on the green one beside him, handing him a cup.

Haru took it with a smile. "Thank you." He wet his lips before taking a sip.

Makoto hummed before drinking a bit of his own. "Anything you need to get off your chest?" He asked, looking at him from the corners of his eyes.

He blinked, trying to get his thoughts in order. "I… don't know. My mind is racing." He turned his head to look at him. His nerves seemed to calm while he was looking at Makoto.

He smiled. "Okay. I'm still staying here with you." He replied.

Haru nodded. "I figured. Also, I still don't think I can be alone tonight." His eyes trailed away in an experiment. Once Makoto was out of his sight, his nerves were jumping once again.

Makoto nodded. "I understand." He said with a cough. "The powder isn't all the way mixed in…" he sighed.

Haru shrugged. "I think it's good. Thank you." He looked to him with wide eyes.

He flashed a toothy smile before looking at the sky. "It's beautiful tonight." He said when he felt the silence was stretching too far.

Haru hadn't taken his eyes off of him. For some reason, the way he looked when he examined the sky was enthralling. And it was there, under the stars, with Makoto and a warm cup of cocoa in his hands, that he realized what it meant.

Free didn't mean unconsciousness, or Rin Matsuoka. Free didn't mean dying.

It meant Makoto. It meant soft green eyes, and fluffy brown hair. A laugh that was as sweet as the drink in his hands. The way he fit perfectly in his arms, and the size difference of their hands that just worked. It meant warm summer days in the pool, the sharp smell of chlorine in his hair and the sting of sunburns.

Everything he loved circled back to Makoto.

He put his cup down and looked up at the stars with him. He finally felt a sense of understanding, and everything was clear. Soon, his eyes found Makoto again.

The taller boy sighed out a laugh. "It's nice tonight." he repeated. "How do you feel, Haru?" He turned his head to him and smiled, his eyes naturally squinting.

Haru took his cup out of his hands and set it beside his. He then wrapped his arms around his neck and laid his head on his chest, feeling Makoto's arms wrap around him. It felt natural, almost like he belonged there.

"I know what it means." He said, looking up and into his green eyes.

Makoto blinked as his eyebrows gently came forward in question. "What do you mean?" He asked.

"The meaning of being free." He whispered, pressing his lips to Makotos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song by Jason Mraz


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Haru's train of thought was disrupted by their speech. He looked to them to see Rin's smile and the way he looked at Sousuke."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the last of it. I enjoyed writing this, and I hoped everyone who read this did too!

"Where are they?" Nagisa groaned, looking down the road in search of the two tardy couples.

"Well, this was to be expected from them." Rei replied as he pushed his glasses up. To be completely honest, he liked being at the train station alone with Nagisa. He didn't know what made him like it so much, but it was appealing.

Soon, the blond gasped. "There they are! Hey guys!" He called as he waved.

Makoto smiled and waved back, Haru's hand in his. Beside him, Rin yelled, "Excuse us for being late!" As he linked his arm with Sousuke's.

"Finally. It seemed as if you four weren't going to show." Rei sighed, his expression relaxing farther.

"Again, sorry." Makoto said, scratching the back of his neck.

Nagisa shook his head excitedly. "It doesn't matter! Let's hurry so we can watch the parade!" His eyes were bright as a smile adorned his face.

The start of their walk was in silence. When the group was about halfway there, Sousuke piped up, "You guys want to get dinner after this?" He asked, snaking his hand down to hold Rin's hand.

"That's a good idea." Makoto said, looking at Sousuke and flashing him a toothy grin.

Rin nodded with a smile. "Yeah. What about you, Haru?" He leaned over to look at the pair.

Makoto flashed a glance to his boyfriend. "Maybe we could get sushi." He suggested.

Sousuke laced his and Rin's fingers. "That sounds great." He commented.

Haru's blue eyes looked up from the ground. "Yeah. We should." He said, breaking his silence.

Rin's expression lit up. "Great! Rei, Nagisa, you guys up to it?" He asked.

Nagisa turned back to look at them and nodded. "Yeah! Is that okay, Rei?" He asked, looking to his boyfriend with bright eyes.

Rei looked to him with a smile. "Of course it is." He said, pushing up his glasses.

The blond giggled as a crowd appeared on the horizon. "There it is!" He pointed and grabbed Rei's hand, beginning to run down the street while dragging his boyfriend behind him.

Makoto let out a laugh as he watched the two disappear. Haru, on the other hand, couldn't stop looking at Rin. He looked so happy with Sousuke. Of course, he was happy with Makoto, but it didn't stop him from thinking about what would have happened if he hadn't kissed him that night, and if he had begged Rin to be with him again.

Rin caught him staring and gave him a toothy smile as they reached the crowd.

Haru stood on his toes to see what he could of the parade. Makoto rested an arm around his shoulders as music began to play in the distance. Haru's mind was running at a million miles per hour, considering this was the first time he's seen Rin since their talk on the night he had started dating Makoto.

Rin laid his head on Sousuke's shoulder, his thoughts jumbled as well.  
Before they had left to meet up with everyone, he had almost had a break down thinking about seeing Haru again. His boyfriend was patient, though, and reassured him that everything would be okay. His face held a stoic expression as he got lost in his thoughts, the parade becoming background noise.

Both Sousuke and Makoto sensed something was wrong with their boyfriends. "Hey, Rin." Sousuke said, lifting his head up to look into his eyes. "Don't feel bad." He said with a small smile.

Rin laughed softly. "You really do have a sixth sense." He said.

Haru's train of thought was disrupted by their speech. He looked to them to see Rin's smile and the way he looked at Sousuke. He looked up at Makoto, who was looking down at him. "Do you need to talk to Rin?" He whispered, beginning to gently run a hand down his arm.

He nodded softly, standing on his toes and kissing him before leaving the comfortable warmth of his arms. He walked to Rin and stood beside him. "Rin." He said, his tone explaining everything.

Rin looked to Haru, seeing the look in his eyes and knew he needed to talk to him as well. "I'll be back in a minute, Sousuke." He smiled softly.

His boyfriend nodded. "I understand." He smiled and turned back to the parade as Rin and Haru walked up some nearby steps and onto a balcony.

Makoto gave Sousuke a sideways glance. "So, how's Rin been doing?" He asked.

He nodded and put his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. "He's been really good, actually. Since the night they talked it out, his anger has got a lot better."

"That's really good!" Makoto crossed his arms and turned slightly to him.

"Yeah. What about Haruka?" Sousuke asked.

"He's good. I've been helping him heal since I got back, and I love him so much." He smiled.

Sousuke nodded. "Good. I'm glad he has you to lean on."

"Yeah. I'm also glad to hear that you're taking care of Rin. He deserves someone like you." He said.

"Thank you."

-

Rin leaned on the railing and watched the parade as the sky darkened. Haru was beside him, his hands on the railing. "How have you been?" Rin finally asked, turning his head to look at Haru.

"Great. You?" He asked.

He smiled and looked out over the world below them. "I've been amazing. My mentality has never been better," his hair stirred with the soft breeze that wafted through. "Makoto's treating you good, then?"

At the mention of his boyfriend, Haru felt a small smile grow on his lips. "He's amazing, and I love him. I never realized how much I did until I figured it out." He replied.

"Figured out you had feelings for him?" Rin ventured.

Haru shook his head slightly. "Kind of. That, and what it means to be free."

At the word, Rin's eyebrows came together. "You didn't… feel like you were trapped when we were dating, did you?" He turned his head to Haru.

His eyes widened and he quickly shook his head. "No, nothing like that. I don't really understand how to explain it…"

"Well in that case, you don't have to. I understand everything that happened, and I'm happy with Sousuke. I'm sure that's what you're experiencing too." Rin said, turning his entire body and just leaning one arm on the railing.

"But it's more than that. When I… tried to drown myself, I thought that was the answer. I thought that was what it meant to be free. But now, I realize that it doesn't mean that. It means Makoto. It means… happiness." Haru said, looking down at the ground way below them.

Rin blinked, a hand coming up and pushing his hair out of his face. "I get it. It's awesome that you found that, Haru. I'm happy for you." He smiled.

Haru looked at him and smiled back. "I'm happy for you too."

**Author's Note:**

> The title of each chapter is the title of a song.


End file.
